Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by emilio scalzo on May 18, 2010 at 10:14am

Then speak to someone at the education department to follow up your concern with your own child. Make them accountable to theior own actions BUT you need to look at both sides of the story. The department will act as your advocate.

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Permalink Reply by Leanne on May 18, 2010 at 10:39am

yes i have done this an the process takes weeks to months im sorry but dont you think 18 mths is long enough to follow the policys an nothing still gets done an the bullys still have free raine

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Permalink Reply by Deb on August 26, 2010 at 6:24pm

Leanne, Been there, had that happen!! The well known delay - it is a well used strategy and only prolongs the pain and suffering of the parents and child. Delaying also enables 'them' to use the good old excuse of 'it was soooo long ago I cannot remember'.
Advice to any parent making a formal complaint - keep on to it and try and have it sorted in a week or two otherwise you will have buckleys and none of a resolution!!

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Permalink Reply by Samantha on May 26, 2010 at 10:50am

I spent the majority of my high scool being bullied by the other girls. When I was in year 9 they even told the teachers that I was sleeping with the senior boys. The school called my mum to tell her that I had been sleeping around. She knew that I hadn't and told the principal exactly what had happened, had a meeting with him, and he then had a meeting with the girls who had been bullying me. The girls were all told that what they had said was slander, and I had the right to talk to the police, which I had said I wouldn't, and that the girls would each be given a suspension for any bullying that continued. I only needed to use that once, and they got the message that the school wouldn't take it anymore. I would recommend talking to your principal about bullying and remind them that they are supposed to have a policy in place - demand that they enforce the policy. If your child id being bullied online too, copy the bullying (save texts, print emails or comments on FaceBook etc) and let the school know - they should have a policy to cover this too.

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Permalink Reply by Frustrated on June 1, 2010 at 10:57pm

Bullying has such HUGE ramifications both for the individual,their family and the country.There is an enormous financial cost especially if those bullied suffer physically or emotionally causing depression like me.

In Primary School I was teased for being fat and having buck-teeth.I was also teased for wearing horrible clothes or the same clothes all the time,they were clean, but I only had a few 'sets of clothes' since we were really broke.

THE TEASING WAS RELENTLESS all through high school and even adulthood.I was not only teased at school and in the street but at home.Nobody ever stepped in and defended me. In my teens I lost the weight and eventually in my 20s I saved the $ to get my teeth fixed, they required braces and surgery to both jaws. I'M 40 AND STILL DEALING WITH BULLYING TODAY.I suffer from depression.

It wasn't until my late 20s when I started uncontrollably twitching that I got diagnosed and started medication, then I realised it was NOT NORMAL TO CRY EVERY DAY....and I do mean every day.Teachers at both Primary and Secondary school saw me cry regularly but did nothing.My parents did nothing but call me "Winging W......" Teachers were equally crewl, for example when I could only do 3 situps in year 7 and made to repeat several times my hopeless result in front of not only our class but some other classes that had PE at the same time(.....yet in my 20s i could do 200 stomach crunches morning & night,but still not able to do a situp).There are other examples but I'm trying to talk more about the consequences than the incidence themselves.
In my working life I've worked for some horrible people.To keep a long story short I have been wrongfully Dismissed 4 times, if i had the money, the energy to fight I may be a wealthy person by now.
Crying in public is EMBARRASSING!!!!!! But when you've been crying yourself to sleep most of your life it seems normal because it is your normal.But it doesn't have to be.

PARENTS if your child cries alot or cries themselves to sleep often.....seek help.
TEACHERS if your student cries often in public......seek help.
EMPLOYERS if your employees cry in public, talk to them in private and see if they need help, maybe like me they are embarrassed but dont realise that crying every week is not normal....advise them to seek help.
I never had anyone on my side.Maybe you could be on theirs and change their lives.

Unfortunately most Teachers go from Kindergarten to Primary School to Secondary School to Tertiary Education.Very few seem to have any experience outside of the school system or government.I have worked for many employers including the government and the government is definatly different than the private sector. Even now as a parent I'v found the school system to be closed and incredibly political, if you dont agree or even just wish to give feedback......DON'T. I've experienced Teachers, Principals and Office staff being so defensive of their school, parents stop communicating, I've heard them say they're affraid of their children being bullied by the teachers or principal themselves, so they stay away and I agree, I'v seen my child's teacher being harsh to a 7yr old because her 2yr old sister ripped a page in a reader.I've see another teacher at my child's previous school being harsh to a 5yr old because he didn't bring reader to school.In both cases the teachers told the children that it was their responsibility,the child's responsbility to keep the book away from the 2yr old, 2yr olds get into everything it's very hard as an adult let alone a 7yr old.These are 5 and 7 yr old children.They are not adults.I'v also heard about many bullying incidents,some of which as parents we should be aware of to protect our own children yet it all gets swept under the carpet.

In this culture bullying will remain prevalent.

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Permalink Reply by Kath Tash on August 28, 2010 at 5:00pm

I feel so much for you!!! I hope you get the 'big refund' in the end for all your tears and hurts.

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Permalink Reply by Kath Tash on August 28, 2010 at 5:06pm

I agree to everything you have said here, especially the fact, that children can not be responsible for anything when they are as little as 5, 6, 7 even 14, they have to be supervised and explained a lot, some, ofcourse, will get it very quickly, and will behave almost like adults, and speak clearly and remember things etc, but we are looking at the majority, not "some", majority of yong children will be children.

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Permalink Reply by ally peaufa on June 14, 2010 at 6:05pm

My daughter is in year 7 and is quite small for her age....she has been bullyed alot even to the point of being punched on the way home from school....we called the police only to be told it was not really worth it...we approached the school only to be told it is her word against theirs...and now my daughter comes running in the house that this childs parent is running after her to hit her...and then throws abuse at me from across the street...where does it end?...now i am stuck as to what to do....looks like we all have to move...for now not only are there issues with child bullying but adult abuse...times have changed so much....i am lost as to what to do...she cant go to school as no doubt there will be kids waiting to bully her even more after the parent incident...its just crazy...where do you go to get help...or is it really that you just have to move them to another school....

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Permalink Reply by AJ on June 14, 2010 at 7:21pm

Keep a record of each incident (diary is best) and see the Principal. Keep records factual and unemotional (get someone else to read over it if necessary because I have no idea how you could be unemotional about it as a parent). I'm sure that they will help when the see what is happening. Escort your daughter to school and organise for her to take part in supervised activities at playtime (library helper, helping out in the Prep area- schools can be quite creative in finding safe activities for children that are fun too). Yes it's a police matter, but see the Principal first so that you can work together to fix the problem.

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Permalink Reply by Shirley Duggan on July 15, 2010 at 10:45am

My daughter was assaulted at school on the first day of term. I was told by the principle to take it to the police as the bullies didn't go to the same school. I did and the girls only got an official warning. The next day my daughter was attacked at school again by students at the school ( from same group as first lot). I think they were just completing the first fight. I was then told there was nothing I can do. The students from the second fight got suspended. This is ridiculous. My daughter doesn't feel safe at school anymore. She wants to change schools.
This is not the first incident at school, Knives have been brought in by students, the school has gone into lock down on several occasions. I really think the school needs help.
The teachers can only do so much at school but its what happens outside of school too.
where do we live if a child who is 13 has to get an intervention order from court just to go to school??? That is wrong...
I really want to name the school but I wont.....

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Permalink Reply by Sharmi Lim on July 25, 2010 at 10:36am

I think is a good idea to let parent know the issues of bullying in different schools. It is not only to let the communities know the serious of bullying, also the school to aware of how to serious the bully is occurring in that school, so they can takes some serious action. There is always a head of the bully, it always start with one certain child, and slowly spread around the whole year. The school should observe which is the light up of the bully team leader and counselor him/her, punish is not going to work on bullier, as only will make thing worse. Rewarding while they are good is also not going to work, as other children will have the same thought that if i am naughty now, and once a while I act good in front of the teacher I will be rewarded, so there will be only more and more bullier in that school. The best way is to work on their behavior and the core they want become a bullier. It is better to change their behavior while they are at primary than going to high school. Once they are in high school it is much harder to control.

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Permalink Reply by leigh morgan on July 29, 2010 at 12:23am

when my daughter was first teased and bullied at her primary school the teachers told us that often the bullied becomes the bully. Now that history has repeated itself in her public secondary school to a much more serious degree this has become true. In this present culture and society it is not cool to name bullies even if they are assaulted. To all of you out there who think you can cope with being bullied, you can't, you need counselling to cope or you will become a bully and as in our case to those that love you most. The public schools need to stop building halls and buildings that they can't even hire out for a kids party and channell their funding into ways to deal with anger issues in children at school and prevention programmes so that children like my daughter who are deeply sensitive will stay in the school system and go on to become decent citizens and not end up on the wrong side of the tracks, at risk. This is the result of untreated depression and appropriation of behaviour in order to fit in and be accepted. Ask the kids what they want to do in their school plays who are at risk of leaving, wouldn't that be a good idea? Also why don't the teachers and principals realise that in this environment where it is definitely "not cool" to seek counselling when your peers know about it surely if the parent gives permission to approach the child and make counselling compulsory after a severe bullying incident that should be enough. If a child is in danger of STD"S, GLANDULAR FEVER, drug addiction and TB isn't the parents consent enough for the welfare worker to approach the child.

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