Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Neridah Brooke-adams on February 8, 2010 at 3:07pm

name and shame !!!!!!! Or alternatively ask the principal to have a meeting with the bullys parents and the victims parents or do as I did and confront the bullys parents yourself so long as you can be civil about it, I was told that the bully had adhd and other problems and I replied well thats a problem however my son is also going to have problems if she didnt do something about controlling his behaviour.

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Permalink Reply by michelle on February 8, 2010 at 6:03pm

totally agree some parents and schools try pass the buck to medical issues...well sorry but thats no excuse why the child gets bullied...take action not excuses

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Permalink Reply by Simona Coppin on February 9, 2010 at 10:28pm

I also think that it's worth thinking about. I wonder whether they would work it out as a percentage per school.
Would it also include teacher's bullying students.
Our son aged six at the time, in the first week of year one was roughly man-handled by his female teacher leaving bruises on both shoulders. He was also berated in front of the class. His teacher denied everything, until various children were taken aside and spoken to. He didn't come home and tell me... I found out from another parent who's daughter was a friend of our son. He has only now become more confident (age 11), he has a caring male teacher. By the way, she never apologised, was put on notice, but she was part of the school board of education, so I don't know whether she really was reprimanded.

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Permalink Reply by Jo Johnson on February 11, 2010 at 9:13am

My 5 year old was punched every day in Kindergarten. We only found out when the doctor advised us that his stomach pains and muscle spasms were a typical symptom of being punched repetedly. When we advised the principal of the school she told us it was only "Minor"bullying and to teach our son to say "Stop I don't like that". I am horrified that in NSW shools are saying they don't tollerate bullies but yet they also say that being to harsh on bullies doesn't help them - they need understanding. My son is now 8 and he still won't talk about school or tell us when he gets picked on.
How do we help our kids when the school doesn't protect them!!!

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Permalink Reply by Fi Harnett on March 21, 2011 at 10:16pm

My heart goes out to you ... unfortunately, the one thing I have learnt is that you cannot tell your child not to retaliate - ignore the schools 'policy' for your child to say "stop - I dont like it", I have already walked in your shoes and tried really hard to follow this 'sound' advice.  the truth is it just empowers the bully - they get a clear picture that whatever action they are taking to get a rise is working ... the sad fact is this: if your child confronts the bully with a quick witted response they catch them off-guard!  I taught my child a few 'choice' remarks (none of them too out of the realm of reasonable) and two things happened 1) it made her smile that her mum was 'on her side' and prepared to break a few 'rules' and 2) gave her some concrete options to the old 'stop / say no / and walk away - this option DOES NOT WORK!!! 

I have to say that bullying is POISON not just for the child but for the entire family unit - it breaks our hearts and makes us feel completely powerless to continue our job of protecting our little people - I dont much like talk of 'resilience' to me its a dirty word conjured up by try hard bureacratic 'no it all's' who feel the need to be heard .... my advice - STOP LISTENING

 

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Permalink Reply by LadyAries on February 19, 2010 at 12:31pm

Absolutley. My son was bullied for a long time and when I found out I approached the school and they informed me that these "bullies" were already on a bullies list and they were suppose to be kept a close eye on...

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Permalink Reply by Amy on March 8, 2010 at 1:39am

My daughter went to a school where she was never bullied and all the kids got along with each other, then we moved into what we thought was a better area and she changed schools, constantly she was tormented by a boy last year and we went to the principle many times about it and the child was 'spoken' to but never punished for what he had done. What made me more furious was the fact that my daughter at the age of 7 had taken it upon herself to speak to the teacher and she was told it wasnt really bullying and I informed the teacher if he is constantly doing something that upsets her after she has asked him to stop it is bullying, my daughter also decided with no luck speaking to the teacher she would tell the boy's mother what had been happening and she said it wasnt her problem and to talk to the teacher. My daughter's self-esteem has dropped dramatically since starting attending this school and i have found that alot of the bullies in this school are actually crossing boundaries to attend. Also at this same school the bullying is not restricted to the students there are many parents bullying others and also a teacher singled out my child in front of the class due to I couldn't afford a specific brand item, I think it is disgusting, what sort of example do the children have to follow.
The so called 'bullying policy' also cannot be explained to me other than getting the children to make posters, so if this school does not rethink its' policies I will be removing my kids from the school even if I have to home school them as I have tried so hard to enstill what I consider to be the essentials of good manners and respect in my kids and the school is doing nothing but degrade those teachings in my eyes.

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Permalink Reply by greatmum on March 8, 2010 at 8:54pm

Bullying is inexcusable and often - too often swept under the carpet by weak principles and staff who just believe in peace love and vegies. When I was at school if there was a bully they were asked to leave as their behaviour was inappropriate - simple as that. Parents of ullies should be called to the school - they shoul be made to attend psychiatrist appointment with their off spring and be made accountable for their childs behaviour. The victim should not have to be made obvious by pulling out of class or attending some session on how to be assertive - we learn assertion as we go through life we as adults, dont need to tolerate for a second a bullies behaviour. I have experienced bullies with two of my children - weak principal so I sorted myself and I wasn't pleasant - but hey there was no more bullying from that boy again. Dont anyone be afraid to speak up.

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Permalink Reply by MySchool on March 9, 2010 at 7:36am

Great story on the ABC by Madonna King about Kevin Rudd's comments on Bullying

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Permalink Reply by Belinda Pryor on March 9, 2010 at 9:00am

The bullying problem needs serious help. I agree its a parents responiblity to teach there children everything to they need but they must work with the school. It is also a parents responiblity to defend her children when the wrong child gets blamed. This is happening to much is our schools and the real bullys get away with it all. Children with disablities are so misunderstood and also are the first to get blamed just for the way they reacted to a bully, our system needs major help.

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Permalink Reply by Megan on March 18, 2010 at 3:23pm

My son was in Grade 2, moved to a new school, and at the end of his first semester there I found out that he had been having some bullying issues at his school, however I had not been informed by the school that any of this was occurring. He had even written on a work sheet " I get sad sometimes when I get bullied" the teacher the had written in red pen underneath.."I'm sorry that you get bullied"...

I only found out when my son brought home his portfolio that I found this and asked him about it! At no time was i aware that he was being bullied. When I confronted the teacher regarding this at the parent/teacher interview, she stated that it was a substitute teachers handwriting and then avoided the issue. I then asked her why it wasn't reported seeing as though the school had a "zero tolerance" for bullying, no real response was given and I felt guilty for asking!

How can I, as a parent counsel or console or do something for my child if I am not aware of whats going on? Why is the school system so afraid to communicate with parents and work with them to resolve issues and problems when they come up! We aren't that scary... we just want whats best for our children.

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Permalink Reply by Megan on March 18, 2010 at 3:55pm

We have moved elsewhere now Tina, and he is now in year 3, has a caring male teacher, who will even ring our home regarding my sons glasses. My son now has a lot of friends in his new school, his confidence is growing and he is doing a lot better with his studies due to his new teacher and with what I help him with at home. I can tell you now that if anything like this had happened again then I would definitely take the issue further. Thanks Tina for your kind words, it feels like I have been conversing with you all day... Cheers

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