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Permalink Reply by Katrina Smith on April 30, 2010 at 9:28am

Hi Renee, my advice has always been that later is better. One of the things to consider is the child's age when he reaches HIgh School. In his final years he'll be the youngest in a group of influential older peers. In my experience sending the child to school younger sets them up to be followers and not leaders. If you can I'd strongly suggest keeping him out of school until he's 5.

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Permalink Reply by Renee on April 30, 2010 at 1:46pm

Thanks Katrina. Yes, I tend to agree. I was thinking that it might be better to have a year in between my two boys though, to give them each an opportunity to be quite separate individuals (my sister and I were just one year apart in school, although were 18 months apart in age, and I feel that this did not benefit the younger one). Do you think there is an age that is TOO old to start school. For instance, is a child who turns 6 in February simply TOO old for the year? I wish I'd thought of all this when I conceived! I'm sure it's not that big a deal, my boys will be fine whichever year we choose to start them, but I'm just curious about the ideal gap between kids at school too as I"m sure there must be something to it.

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Permalink Reply by Jade on April 30, 2010 at 9:17pm

Hi

I put my boy in at 4 and a half years old. He turns 5 in July. I dont think it really matters as long as you think your child is ready mentally. My birthday is in early February so I pretty much started school at 5 years of age but eventually, I skipped a class anyway and found that I ended up in classes where 60-70% of the kids were older than me ie when I turned 7, everyone was turning 8 that year. The year I skipped was in my junior years so it didnt affect me too much. As for the follower and leader thing, to be honest I was a bit of both...I was a leader academically (always the top of the class in math, reading and spelling and very competitive), but was a follower in things like sport. Some people have a preference on when they start their child, but I dont think it matters too much especially if you yourself think that they are ready. Only you know your child best. Something to think about I guess.

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Permalink Reply by Katrina Smith on May 1, 2010 at 10:03am

One very important thing to consider is not how they will perform in primary school as a one of the youngest but how they'll go on to perform as one of the youngest in their high school peer group. The pecking order amongst kids is usually determined by age and size. I think it's better for my kids to be in the older and taller group, and that's where they are. Plenty of younger children can do well academically but it is the social aspect that can affect their learning and enjoyment of school later on. In my experience with High School students the older ones in any given year call the shots and the younger ones follow. As a parent I'm sure we all want our kids to be able to say no to dumb ideas. It is definitely easier to do this if the child is older rather than younger. Think about this. The younger student will be the passenger in the P platers car. The younger student will be the underage drinker in a group of year 12's on a Saturday night out. I can't think of a single reason, other than child care issues, for sending a 4 year old to school. If you can keep them home for another year (or at a good pre-school three days a week) then I strongly recommend you should do it.

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Permalink Reply by Nora Buckley on May 3, 2010 at 8:28pm

Hi Renee

You need to do what works for you, your child and your family. There are reasons for and against both views.

My oldest is a May born boy who went early. He was ready. People who had never met him (mainly know it all teachers!) criticised me for this. Then they met my son and understood why he went to school early. He had wanted to go to school when he was 2 !/2 but I held him back.

He is now in year 9. Unless you are told he is young you would not know. He holds his own with the older boys socially and academically and because of his personality is often a sensible influence on some of the older, less mature boys.

Most importantly, he is happy.

My 2nd boy is 22 months younger and also started school early, though less so than my first. I would expect that starting early is more common with later children as they learn soooo much from older siblings.

I had a friend who had boys 18 months apart who were in the same year as the older one repeated at some stage. This was one of the things that we considered when my eldest went to school as we would not want the boys in the same year at school. In my friends case, this was not great for the older child and it is something that you are obviously aware of from your other posting.

I also know of a couple of situations where a younger child has been held back for the sake of the older child. In one case it worked and in another I am not sure whether this was such a good idea but I am not in on top of all the facts so will not definitively comment. Sometimes the best option overall is not the best option for an individual but you do need to consider the whole situation.

My other comment is that if your child starts early and it does not work they can repeat. But it would be very hard to get them moved forward a year.

So my advise is, look at your children and your situation and do what works for you.

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Permalink Reply by Deb on June 13, 2010 at 9:39pm

We have a May born boy and held him back based on the advice of the pre-school ... big mistake! He is very smart also, began asking indepth questions when he was 2, reading at 4 and always understood new concepts very quickly. He was angry with me for not allowing him to start big school at 4. He was academically ready at 4 but because he was a boy we were told to hold him back. In Kindy he kept asking for harder class work and more homework too. We felt this was unusual because our daughter (April born commenced at 4) never had such requests. Our son regularly requested harder work from his teacher whom he adored. He was never given harder work or extra homework and we were told that he would find the next year more stimulating, he should just enjoy Kindy. He was a bit like the No. 5 robot from the movie Short Circuit ... "More Input". He felt the learning could have been faster paced, his frustrations continued throughout Year 1 and 2. If you trust the pre-school advice well and good, otherwise enrol him into a Pre-Kindy program at your school of choice - you will be able to see how he copes and the teachers will be able to assess your child and give you more accurate advice. Good luck,

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Permalink Reply by Katrina Smith on June 13, 2010 at 9:51pm

Many of the benefits to allowing your son to start school at 5 years old will be realised in high school. I believe it is Denmark that doesn't allow children to start school until they're 7 and the data shows that they perform much better later in their school life as a result. It's important to look at school life over the 13 years they'll be there. If the goal is to have a well rounded, well educated child with good social skills including leadership and sound decision making skills, then later starts have clearly shown to yield better results.

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Permalink Reply by Emma Bushby on July 1, 2010 at 4:10pm

Hello,

I went to school when I was 4.5 (I was born in mid June). My parents thought I was ready and didn't see the point in sending me to kinder for another year. I never experienced any difficulties throughout school at all. Like someone else has said below - it's only when someone asks your age that they realise the difference.

I believe it has made me stronger and more independent today. I don't believe that it would have been worthwhile for me to have waited until the following year as I was ready - my Mum always did stuff with me at home (writing, reading, spelling, basic maths) so she felt as though I wouldn't have been disadvantaged.

The only thing that was different was that everyone was turning 16 when I would turn 15 (for example), but I never felt left out or pressured by my older peers because they never actually felt 'older'. At the time it didn't actually matter that much to be, and now its the best. All my friends are turning 22 and I've just turned 21!!!

If you feel your boy is ready Renee, its probably because he's confident and outgoing.

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